A Hipster Health Warning

There are many trends which have baffled me over the years – none more so than the new-fangled fashion of the hipsters.

Glasses without lenses? Loafers no socks? Men wearing skinny jeans??

Personally, I make it a rule never to go with a guy whose jeans are skinnier than mine, not least because of leading GP Dr. Hilary Jones’ recent health warning that men squeezing into skinnies could suffer horrific medical mishaps such as twisted testicles, bladder infections and a low sperm count.

I am not going to pretend to understand the high fashion of the Top Shop monkeys, but I know this much – real men don’t wear skinny jeans.

Indiana Jones didn’t wear skinny jeans.

Liam Neeson never wears skinny jeans.

Brian O’Driscoll doesn’t wear skinny jeans.

Yes, Batman wears tights, but he also wears a cape and drives the Bat Mobile – the man could wear a tutu and still be devastatingly heroic.

Perhaps teenage boys have never been informed of this theory, perhaps they truly believe that the skinniness of a man’s ankles is directly correlated to their attractiveness to women – perhaps it’s the Victorian women’s fashion revolution turned on its head – men are taking back the ankle!

Next it will be the vote…

Since the ankle-flashing revolution, women have dared to bare more and more leg, necklines have plunged, and heels have sky-rocketed. Women have gone to some extraordinary lengths for fashion and if these hipster kids are anything to go by, men are catching up – but twisting our lady bits? Even in six inch heels, that is a step too far boys.


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